Friday, July 10, 2015

This is a conversation between drunk Draco Malfoy and A crying girl. Tags: Romance, Dunkie, Cigarret, Harry potter, Drako Malfoy, The feels

drunk Draco Malfoy: hello love
A crying girl: *looks up* w..what im not your love
drunk Draco Malfoy: no? *frowns confused* nevermind *sits next to you*
A crying girl: are you drunk
drunk Draco Malfoy: *giggles and shakes his head*
A crying girl: *shakes head* noo your drunk
drunk Draco Malfoy: *shrugs and chckles again* mayme jus a litle hick little weee bit
A crying girl: *turns to look at you* your so drunk
drunk Draco Malfoy: *looks at you and remains quiet. then he bursts out giggling:-* mkay maybe i am
A crying girl: *stands up sticks hand out* come on lets get you home
drunk Draco Malfoy: mm..jus sit down. i ned a little *takes a cigarette out of his pocket*..
A crying girl: oh hell no no smoking *slaps the ciarette out of your hand*
drunk Draco Malfoy: hey!*frowns* just one...but..i wont do it when u sit down and stay wit me
A crying girl: ughhhhhh fine *sits down next to you*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *grins*so..whats wrong?
A crying girl: you know shit
drunk Draco Malfoy: yes I know shit, thats why I'm askin you wats wrong
A crying girl: well im the nerd of my school
drunk Draco Malfoy: so? u go to hogs?
A crying girl: yah
drunk Draco Malfoy: somtin like miss granger?? *wiggles his eyebrows*
A crying girl: well sorta *slaps your shoulder playfuly
drunk Draco Malfoy: *chckles*im better at potions than she is *smirks*
A crying girl: ohh so now were saying whoes better humm *smiles*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *giggles again and shakes his head* idunno wat im sayin, im smashed ..but why r u so upset about it?
A crying girl: some slitheren are hurting me
A crying girl: *looks down*
drunk Draco Malfoy: oh snap. its me?
A crying girl: no not you
drunk Draco Malfoy: oh..okay. i hurt everybody but u, thats good. so who then?
A crying girl: some of your freinds *lookes down*
drunk Draco Malfoy: friends *says bittery and rolls his eyes* who? Creabbe and Goyl?
A crying girl: yah
A crying girl: sorry forget i said any thing I'll leave you alone now *slowly gets up*
drunk Draco Malfoy: naah u shouldnt be afraid of them ther fuckin dumb..i shouldnt say that *mutters*
drunk Draco Malfoy: i dontt want u to leave
A crying girl: you want me to stay? Your not gunna remember anything in the morning.
drunk Draco Malfoy: thats the point *giggles*,iu can say whatever u want i wont remember that..and i would like to have my cig back *looks up at u*
A crying girl: Why would you want you cig back?
drunk Draco Malfoy: because...its mine and i feel like i need it right meow
A crying girl: *sits down next to you agien* If i kiss you would you cill on you cig *i mummble*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *blinks in surprise*s-sorry?
A crying girl: nothing
drunk Draco Malfoy: oh my. im really sorry but i..uh..well
A crying girl: *giggles at your confusedness*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *blushes and scratches the back of his head* i don really like....well but if its just a kiss..we could do that..just a kiss. nothing more, nothing less
A crying girl: you ok there drako?
drunk Draco Malfoy: yeah. completely
A crying girl: you seam un shure
drunk Draco Malfoy: what? i kissed plenty of..people
A crying girl: i bet you have *smiles*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *smirks* soo..just a kiss u say hm?
A crying girl: I said no such thing *smerks*
drunk Draco Malfoy: ..but im afraid i cant do more coz well..
A crying girl: whys that
drunk Draco Malfoy: because..*sighs and licks his lips* i might like someone not quite..
A crying girl: awww no whos the lucky girl
drunk Draco Malfoy: thats the problem
A crying girl: it a boy?
drunk Draco Malfoy: *looks at you and bites his bottom lip*
A crying girl: *thinks then ponts to me*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *sighs and runs his fingers through his hair* u were closer the second time
A crying girl: It's a boy! Awwww
drunk Draco Malfoy: sshh! *blushes*
A crying girl: Sorry but its cute
drunk Draco Malfoy: *frowns confused* Whats so cute about that?
A crying girl: It just is
drunk Draco Malfoy: *rolls his eyes amused* Okay. but dont tell anybody please.
A crying girl: got it
drunk Draco Malfoy: thanks *smiles* so what is it? *smirks* kiss or cig?
A crying girl: no cig good gosh
drunk Draco Malfoy: cig? so give it back *smirks again*
A crying girl: no you don't get it back
drunk Draco Malfoy: then I get a kiss?? *smiles and raises eyebrows*
A crying girl: mmmm lets see here *pretends to think*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *raises eyebrows even higher*
A crying girl: What do you say? *lean up aginst the brick wall*
drunk Draco Malfoy: what what do I say?
A crying girl: Well its your chose
drunk Draco Malfoy: Okay *he grabs your cheeks and locks his soft lips with yours, he opens his mouth and runs the tip of his tongue over your bottom lip*
A crying girl: *wraps arms around neck and opens mouth*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *slips his tongue under your upper lip and licks the roof of your mouth*
A crying girl: *shivers at the touch*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *slightly pushes your tongue with his and gently bites your bottom lip*
A crying girl: *fights to win*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *pushes harder and slips his tongue into your mouth, he licks the inside of it and pulls off. he smirks and raises his eyebrows*
A crying girl: *looks down and blushes hard*
drunk Draco Malfoy: *giggles and blushes too* see it doesnt mean i dont know how to kiss girls when im gay
A crying girl: thats ture to the pont
drunk Draco Malfoy: *grins and steps back*
A crying girl: *wrap arm around my torso for warmth*
drunk Draco Malfoy: thanks for the kiss. and for this *smirks and twists the cigarette in his fingers*
drunk Draco Malfoy: we really should go inside
A crying girl: yah we should and all take that back *grabs cig and twistes it in my fingers*
drunk Draco Malfoy: ..didnt know you smoked
A crying girl: I don't i just use it to think by chewing on the end
A crying girl: *smirks*
drunk Draco Malfoy: thats dumb *smirks too* you can chew on a pencil. i dont.
A crying girl: I hate chewing on pencil the pant chips off
drunk Draco Malfoy: *rolls his eyes* smartarse
A crying girl: you know it *nuges you*
drunk Draco Malfoy: i dont *laughs* you shouldnt put random things in your mouth
A crying girl: how is this a ramdom thing?
drunk Draco Malfoy: it is. and its dirty
A crying girl: form you? *smirks*
drunk Draco Malfoy: i dont mean sexualy dirty *rolls * i dont touch ur pencils
drunk Draco Malfoy: *eyes
A crying girl: shure you dont yet you ask for a picle every time we pas in the hall way
A crying girl: soo you were saying
drunk Draco Malfoy: i was saying what?
A crying girl: you dont tuch my pincels
drunk Draco Malfoy: *laughs* whos the drunk one me or you? ur spelling is terrible. .what was i saying? oh..well..see, you shouldnt put things in you mouth
A crying girl: haha saids you
drunk Draco Malfoy: huh?
A crying girl: my spelling sucks
drunk Draco Malfoy: yes *laughs* i feel like im stoned too
A crying girl: oh dear
drunk Draco Malfoy: *laughs* well...*he turns so his back is facing you. he takes out another cigarette from his pocket and lights up* i really need to go *say with the cigarette inbetwen his lips* i feel like spending my entire night on a toilet so i better go
A crying girl: *laughs* I gusse your gunna have fun with your hangouver in the moring
drunk Draco Malfoy: yes. *laughs too* probably skip some classes too *takes a deep inhale from the cig* say hi to harry from me
A crying girl: will do. but first come here.
drunk Draco Malfoy: but dont say i have a thing for him. i want to tell him myself...someday..maybe..*smirks* why?
A crying girl: *rolls eyes* I know just get over here
drunk Draco Malfoy: you dont wanna steal my stuff again, do you? *smirks again, throws the tip on the cig on the ground and steps on it. then he steps closer to you* what?
A crying girl: *grabs you and gives you a big hug* now rember you can be who you wan to be
drunk Draco Malfoy: *his eyes widen, he blinks in surprise but relaxes soon and hugs you back* thank you *mutters against your shoulder*
A crying girl: your welcome *says in to your chest*
drunk Draco Malfoy: now lets go back inside. its freezing *smiles and takes your hand*
A crying girl: yes it is.

The next morring Drako walked past the crying girl from yesterday and asked for a pencil. She hadded one to him with a cig tapped to it with a note. "you can have your cig back now," and she qurks a smile at him. Then she walks away as he slowly rembers the pices of that night. He walks down the hall as he slowly smiles at himself and thinks he might be falling in love slowly. He chuckes and rember that he was never really drunk.

"I Always Knew I Was Different"

[caption: I knew I was different ever since I was a child. I was drawn to things people told me I shouldn't be.]

Seems like it's gonna be an awww post, at first, doesn't it? Well...

caption: [For many years I tried to escape through fantasy worlds. But it was only through others that I found the answers to my question.]

caption: [It took me a long time to save for the treatment I needed. And I travelled halfway across the world to ensure my care was the very best.]

caption: [I was nervous as the surgeon explained the procedure, but I knew I was making the right choice. As I fell asleep on the operating table, I was certain of one thing.]

caption: [I would finally be able to be myself].



Thursday, July 9, 2015

A Prelude to "Goodbye Stranger"

It stinks of blood.
The room is deafening in its silence, broken only by the click of Naomi's heels on the stainless white floor as she walks over to the white leather chair. Beside the chair is a metal tray, loaded with familiar metal instruments that bring nausea to Castiel's mouth. He knows those.
How can you not know what has been inside of his brain?
The lights are blindingly white and hard to look at directly. The whole atmosphere brings a clinical feeling with it, rather similar to the hospital that he and Dean investigated on one case. He half expects to smell the stench of chemicals- antibiotics and disinfectants-and see the white curtained beds.
But Castiel knows the moment that he is brought in that that their purposes are vastly different. Hospitals are supposed to heal you. This room is for the opposite.
They don't need many guards to bring him in. Castiel's body is limp and boneless- the blood trickling from his eyes blinds him. He has not slept for an eternity, and there are bruises all over his body. He's fairly sure that there is internal bleeding in his stomach.
But even if he could find the strength to fight them off, it wouldn't last long- Naomi has the controls embedded in him, the manual to control his every move. She could drop him at the slightest provocation.
"Bring him here."
The hands around his arms tighten and Castiel is jerked forward until he's being held in front of Naomi, dangling from their grips. He lets his gaze drift to the floor, refusing to look in her eyes.
Naomi grabs him by the chin and jerks his face up till his eyes meet hers.
"You know that this is necessary, Castiel," she speaks soothingly, "you know you have disobeyed. This is your punishment."
Castiel laughs. It comes out broken and bitter and doesn't sound a laugh at all. "Go to hell."
Naomi doesn't get mad. She just clucks in disapproval and leans back. "It seems we will have to use more permanent measures than last time, Castiel," she tells him. "You brought this upon yourself."
Castiel ignores the rising panic in his stomach clamoring for his attention and spits at her feet. It comes out bloody and lands on the white floor, a drop of scarlet blood on the colorless floor.
Blood on snow. Humans have always loved that metaphor.
"Put him in the chair."
They drag him over to the chair and slam him down into the seat, leaning him back until he's prone, open, vulnerable. He coughs, more blood dribbling down from his mouth and fights back the tide of dread washing over him.
Naomi sits in the adjacent chair and picks up one of the lethal devices. Castiel slumps back in the chair. So this is it- there is no stopping this.
She's right, though, as much as he hates to admit it. He has brought this upon himself- his choices, each and every one, have led him here. He had a chance to avoid this.
But she's wrong, too.
If given a chance to go back, he wouldn't change those choices for the world. Not if it meant hurting Dean more than he has already. Despite everything, he still believes he and Sam were right. Everything he has done has been for them. Everything.
And he wouldn't change anything if it meant losing that.
She raises the scalpel, and Castiel wishes he could say something to give her pause, something defiant. But he has never been able to think of words like Dean has. He is not a diplomat- he is a strategist and a warrior.
But there is one thing that he can say.
"Screw you," he blurts out, and Naomi's eyes flash with anger, the first sign of emotion that she has shown thus far.
She makes the first cut. Castiel screams.
The world goes white.
Dean moves over to him with a concerned face, arms extended as if he's a wild animal, keeping him at bay. "Cas?" He demands, and Castiel notices absently that his hands are shaking ever so slightly.
Cas moves forward, and his hand slips under his coat, grabbing the angel blade. He doesn't draw it out, not yet- something stops him, a ghost of some old feeling flickering through him.
"Cas, you in there?" Dean snaps his fingers, and Cas's gaze snaps to him instantly. "Look, I'm sorry we got angel sigils. But, uh, we were kinda freaked out after Samandriel, and you were kinda- I mean, you looked like you did back when you were Heaven's bitch, remember?"
Castiel tilts his head, slightly confused. Dean nods and grins, albeit a little nervous around the eyes.
"See! Like that. Damn. You haven't done that head-tilty thing of yours since Lucifer was still up and kicking!"
Dean moves forward slowly, puts his hands on Castiel's shoulders, and his face shifts from the nervous, almost fake grin. He stares into Castiel's eyes, and before he speaks, he pauses, looks Castiel over. As if he can't believe he's actually there. Is solid and real.
"But this is you, right man?" He whispers. "You're you. And you're okay?"
Castiel knows this is the time he needs to draw out the angel blade, needs to strike deep into this man's heart. But the look on Dean's face makes his mind jumble, and his heart shivers.
All that Naomi has told him is that Dean Winchester is a threat to Heaven's cause- that he's killed plenty of their agents, such as Zachariah. He has made deals with devils and sabotaged previous plans beyond repair. Much of Heaven's current state of disrepair owes itself to Dean Winchester.
But Castiel senses deeply that Dean is more than that- or was more than that to him, once. There is something between them, a history, that passes unspoken.
"Cas, look buddy," Dean speaks again, and a hand goes up to his cheek, gently caressing. "I need to know if you're in there."
Castiel almost lets himself nod and sag forward into Dean's shoulder- almost lets himself find safety and comfort within Dean's arms. It would be so easy, and something itching in the back of his brain is telling him he's done it before. It would be effortless.
He almost lets himself.
He would, but for the momentary stab of white-hot pain that bursts through Cas's head, and he stumbles backwards, going immediately for his pocket. He grabs the angel blade and holds it up in front of him by instinct, a talisman against whatever monster is . Dean almost rushes forward but then seems to think better of it. He stops a few feet away from Castiel, arms still outstretched as if to heal him. To lay hands on him.
And then Castiel realizes that he hasn't stopped at all- he is suspended in time, a frame of life frozen. The work of an angel.
"I warned you, Castiel," Naomi tuts from behind Castiel, and he whirls around, eyes wide- a deer in the headlights. She shakes her head, clucking her tongue in disappointment. "You must do your duty to Heaven. God only knows that you have much penance to do."
"I don't think I can do it," Castiel whispers, trembling. He knows that angels are not to fail to complete their orders- it goes against their biology, their physiological makeup. They are supposed to carry out their missions without complaints or second thoughts.
But he. He doesn't have a word for what stops him- it is too vast and vague to comprehend- but he does know that he cannot kill Dean.
"You can and will," Naomi tells him. There is an uncontrolled edge of rage in her voice, her hands clenching into fists. "Or I will bring down such wrath of Heaven down upon you, Castiel, that when I am done you will not be able to think at all. Let alone question orders."
Castiel whimpers. He can't kill Dean, that is true- but he also cannot go back to the chair. He doesn't remember why he can't do that either. It is completely irrational. There is no logical reason for either- mind memory for one, he supposes, and muscle memory for the other- but he can't.
"Do you want a taste?" Naomi roars, and pain deeper than space and sharper than the gates of Hell floods Castiel's every sense. He keens, bending over at the waist, and hot, thick blood pours from his ears and nose, rises inexorably in his throat. It trickles from his eyes alongside a flood of tears. His knees buckle and he collapses, sobbing into the floor.
Naomi kneels down beside him, so close that her whisper touches the hairs on his ear. Castiel moans as she smooths back his hair from his face with a gentle hand.
"If you do not kill Dean Winchester," she breathes, "I will tear off both of your wings and hang them on Heaven's gates."
An eternity later Castiel rises from the ground, blood and tears and snot still running over his face, and draws the angel blade. Dean backs away, but Castiel is determined.
He wills himself to move forward as he grabs Dean's arm, wills himself not to stop as Dean shouts in shock.
"No, Cas, please don't do this," Dean pleads. Castiel closes his eyes and lets himself press a kiss to his brow.
He raises his arm and brings down the blade. 
Dean stops pleading.