One of the things the Gotei 13 loved most about the Kuchiki-Kurosaki union was all the Human convenience goods that Byakuya became first interested in, addicted to, and was now dispersing throughout Seireitei. Not a day went by that Shinigami didn't come to work sweet-smelling, clean, and most importantly, with good teeth. With such old-fashioned methods of tooth hygiene, it was hard to find a perfectly white smile, or anyone who could defeat bad breath for more than an hour.
Toothpaste and toothbrushes changed all of that. Now there were clean mouths everywhere, and a variety of different styles of brush and paste were now widely available.
This wide range of oral-cleaning individuality, dear reader, is about to cause havoc in a certain Shinigami household … that of Ichimaru Gin and Matsumoto Rangiku . . .
It was dark and warm under the covers when Gin woke up. He huffed quietly, knowing he wasn’t going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon, and snuggled Ran-chan for a moment more of peace. A moment passed. Sighing, Gin deftly untangled himself from Rangiku’s clutch-y parts. After that, the few blankets were nothing to get through. Gin pulled himself to and off the edge of the bed, taking a moment to stretch his spine.
Hearing a satisfying crunch, Gin let himself down from his reveille and headed for the apartment bathroom. Since moving in with Ran-chan, things had been a little awkward, but those things had been settled by now. A routine had formed. And part of that routine was brushing their teeth in the morning.
The bathroom lights were still off, so that Ran wouldn’t be woken up before her due, and because the darkness makes Gin feel safe. Heh, like a snake! Well, this snake’s eyes don’t need the light~ The act of brushing his teeth had become so routine, Gin could find everything by touch. Sure enough, Gin found toothpaste, toothbrush, and facet all well in hand.
So certain was he that everything was the same as usual, Gin never even thought twice about sticking the wet toothbrush into his mouth. It took a moment, but before he knew it, Gin was spitting and shuddering and trying to wash his mouth of the disgustingly sweet melon flavor … ! Gin dropped his toothbrush like lit TNT, turning on the facet, and practically throwing the water into his mouth. He rinsed every few seconds. Spitting the last of the god-awful foam into the sink, Gin took a moment to rest in the silence. Then he turned on the bathroom lights.
There was a thump from the bedroom, but Gin paid it no mind. He was a little too upset about the melon-flavored paste where his matcha toothpaste should’ve been. The problem was that Gin despised sweets with a loathing matched only by his hate of rainy days and maybe Aizen; and he just put something sweet in his mouth. So it was with a rising temper Gin looked up from the bathroom sink to the other apartment occupant.
Rangiku was standing at the door, blinking blearily in the light, still in her night clothes. Most likely having just rolled out of bed, Gin noted, glaring at Rangiku. That woke her up quick enough.
“W-w-wha’,” Rangiku was interrupted by yawn. Okay, maybe not entirely awake, “I do to you dis’ time?” Rangiku smacked and licked her chops, hiding another yawn behind her hand. Gin spared a moment to be distracted by the sheer kawaii of that move, before imperatively picking up the melon-flavored paste and waving it in front of Ran’s face.
“This.” Ran eyed the bit of green paste sticking out the top, and raised her eyebrow.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t produce toothpaste. The Humans do that for us.” Ran commented, already losing interest in the conversation. Instead, she focused on her nails. Ah, might be time for a new coating … maybe in peach this time … or maybe light blue, like Gin’s eyes . . .
Unaware of Rangiku’s thoughts, Gin was trying very hard not to just lose his temper then and there. But he didn’t, because at the very least Ran deserved to know the reason for being chopped in two by Shinso. “Because,” Gin continued, “Last night, you moved my toothpaste . . .” Rangiku looked up, sensing where this was going and already frowning, “And now I have sweet stuff between my teeth!”
“Hey, don’t blame this on me!” Rangiku pushed off the bathroom wall, glaring.
“And who else would’ve done it?” Gin’s tone was icy. His hand was inching backwards, towards the sink. He needed something to grab.
“Oh, I don’t know, your friend Kira last night?” Rangiku hissed, shoulders set and ready to fight.
“As if! Kira wouldn’t touch my stuff, ever. Even if I asked him too!” Gin’s hand was firmly wrapped around something solid, though he didn’t know what it was yet, “He worships me!”
“And somehow you’re proud of that?!” Rangiku marched forward, eyes shining brightly.
“Who wouldn’t be?” The sheer awkwardness of that answer just put the whole conversation on hold, before Rangiku launched herself at Gin, hissing furiously. Gin responded by backing up and swiping his unknown weapon out. It was a toothbrush.
There was another awkward pause. There was even still some paste on the bristles . . . Gin ignored the embarrassment and jumped at Rangiku, who was on top of the sink. Rangiku grabbed the nearest hand object, her toothbrush, up to block.
The weight of meeting was too much for the brushes, and the Shinigami sprang apart, nursing bruised plastic. Bruise met bruise in another forceful impact, before separating into different corners. Ran was balancing on the bathtub, and Gin was next to the door. Gin sneaked a peek down the hall, noting the bigger space, and saw Rangiku watching him.
Gin turned tail and ran down the wooden hallway, Rangiku hot on his heels. They stopped in the middle to clash again, and broke apart to keep running. Gin reached the end first, and propelled himself backwards off the door. Rangiku skidded to a halt, span around, and raced after Gin.
Gin was already in the bathroom, sweeping in quickly for toothpaste, and then running back at Ran. Ran swerved to avoid the brush aiming at her face, and jumped away from the now-sticky ground. Clutching the hallway beams, Rangiku stopped to take a breath.
But Gin was already moving, launching himself towards Ran and forcing her to move to the right. Gin kicked out at her, catching her on the hip, and forcing her to roll awkwardly. The roll was completed in the bathroom as Gin landed softly. Rangiku popped up, ignoring the pain in her side, and grabbed the remaining paste. Gin eyed her choice of weapon amusedly.
Smirking, Rangiku rushed out of the bathroom, neatly sidestepping the paste on the floor, and squirting her paste out in a wide arc, hoping to blind Gin. Gin moved to the left, outside of the range, and jumped up. When he had enough height, Gin kicked down, plunging Rangiku into the sticky mess below. But Ran wasn’t done yet.
Twisting right before impact, Rangiku caught Gin’s leg and pulled, dragging him down with her. They both hit the ground with a gross-sounding splat, and spent a few moments just in shock. After getting over their revolted feelings, the couple immediately detached themselves from the floor. Gin and Rangiku looked at each other.
Gin held up Ran’s melon-flavored toothpaste, “Well, that was a small tube.” Said tube was held limply in Gin’s hand, totally empty. Not to mention covered in goo along one side. Rangiku held up a similarly empty tube, only it was green tea flavored,
“Sorry, looks like you won’t get to brush your teeth today.” Ran dropped the plastic container on the ground, not wanting to continue touching it. Gin shrugged.
“I got to brush my teeth. But what about you?” Gin watched Rangiku grimace and gesture helplessly to the paste on their clothes. Gin’s signature smile was starting to pull at his lips.
“Maybe we should buy permission flavor from now on, ne?” Gin offered, and smiled fully when Rangiku nodded enthusiastically. “Just … not right now.”
“What?! I still haven’t brushed my teeth! You have to go buy permission-flavored paste for me, right now!”
“Why should I? You’re the one who started this whole fight in the first place. Maybe if you’d left my toothpaste alone, we wouldn’t be in this mess. And then maybe you could’ve brushed your teeth.”
“But I did brush my teeth! Last night! With your paste! Why do you think I was so gung-ho just now?!”
“Hm … I was thinking you were just on your period . . .”