ika-sensei

Oga/Furuichi – “Fighting Digitally”

Furuichi Takayuki really hates real-life fights.

Furuichi’s lost count how many times a real-life fights have ended with him flat on his back, bleeding from body and heart.

The first time Oga punched him … to when he was finally able to fight back, only to end up a bloody, coughing mess on the side of a hill … to having his soul ripped apart because Furuichi has a ridiculously large ego … to that terrifying, petrifying battle with Satan. Goddamnit, it was a harsh world out there! With even harsher people! And being weak, always needing someone to save Furuichi, the damsel in distress … sucked. Big time.

So that’s why Furuichi loves video games.

Rattattaa! A hail of machine bullets. Oga’s last NPC is dead. Heh, never had a chance.

Shreech! Oga whips around a corner. Skins himself as he ground-plants.

Wheeee … ! Furuichi’s missile is in the air. Don’t forget the missile, Oga!

Shoooom … ! Oga takes off, hoping to get far enough away … !

BOOOOM. Furuichi takes a moment to appreciate the sound effects. And the lovely image of Oga being blown sky-high. Ah, but …

“Gah!” Oga yells. The control is suddenly thrown from his hands. “Why do you always win when we play this game?!” Furuichi considers mentioning that video games are more about strategy than just brute force. He reconsiders when he considers his life expectancy; three seconds if Furuichi says it, and eighty years if he stays quiet. Not much of a tossup, huh?

“C’mon, let’s take this outside, and fight like real men!” The smile on Oga’s face is terrifyingly demonic; the mark of a true sadist.

“Dabu!” Be’el’s answering smile is just as deadly. Or at least, as deadly as baby trying to smile around a teat can look. But considering the look … pretty deadly. Not that it matters.

“Aw, and here I am, thinking maybe you could finally beat me …” But Furuichi’s innocent, foolhardy smile is the scariest of them all. Oga glares at Furuichi suspiciously, but oafishly picks up the console again.

“Damn straight!” Oga grunts, and they’re off again, restarting the game and thrashing each other. Oga stocks up on launch missiles. Furuichi cuts Oga off from his stores. Oga has no choice but a frontal attack. Furuichi conveniently forgets to mention the landmines, and Oga just about pulls his hair out, watching all his NPCs go out in one hit. Furuichi smiles wryly.

Yes, he loves fighting video games best.